give My Love to My daughter...

My last entry in Aniela's journal quoted her very words, here they were:

"Mommy when you learn to be comfortable in your own skin then you can look to others thin, fat, or whatever and appreciate them no matter what they look like."

I am no pro at this mothering stuff; Most definitely not a pro at raising a child in this awful world. But those words hit me like He knew I needed to hear them.

Last summer Aniela went to her yearly physical. We have a beloved doc. She will be near impossible to replace. But like every other human, she is flawed. During that appointment, concerned with how fast Aniela had gained pounds, she said to me, "I would like to see Aniela lose at least 10 pounds this year". You see we didn't discuss how every night Aniela is either dancing or jumping or riding. How she already, at only 8, measures how much sugar she eats daily. Nor did we discuss if I really wanted Aniela to even know that she was "overweight". As if.

Who are we comparing again?

Then there was our neighbor who didn't really know what she was saying either, when she proposed confusion as to how in the world the entertainment industry would take such an overweight child.

Have you seen my angel?

I guess this is what overweight looks like?!!!

Yesterday my daughter told me about a little girl whom Aniela calls "her friend" who referred to her as "fat". That was over two months ago. But what I learned yesterday was that my daughter had been living in shame for a WHOLE YEAR because one little lie seeped into her heart and the enemy took every chance he could to build on it and somehow make it believable in her big gigantic heart.

It wasn't the little girls at the birthday party weeks ago that were discussing how fat they were. Or the beautiful ballerinas in the Nutcracker that constantly complained about themselves. NO! It was no one that made two bit of concern in her heart, it was her beloved doc, a neighbor she admired, a friend, and albeit an opportunity to throw shame, her own mother. The enemy weaseled himself into her heart through people that love her and that she loves.

I am telling my story now. Because it's time this stops. We need to forgive those who spoke out of their own insecurities or standards that we really have no business standing on. We need to replace the lies with truth.

The bible tells us our bodies are temples (to house Holy Spirit). We are required to take care of them. We should not be putting awful things in them or on them. But.... this is where so many go wrong with that verse, tell me how believing untruths about yourself is NOT BLASPHEMY? Tell me that when we shame our temple and remind it that it's a beat up run down shack how in the world can A Living God make His home there? Why would He want to?

I did a bible study this morning for my daughter because I want to sit her down this afternoon and teach her what the world never will. And in my study I came across Psalm 139:14, you have probably read it. It's pretty properly quoted, especially in times like this. But I didn't want the cliche Christian belief that, "well we need praise God because He made us." No, I really wanted to understand just what it was God was saying to His daughters (and sons).

This is the prayer I came up with based heavily on that verse (and others). This is my prayer for my daughter to say so that she may know God's love to His Daughter:

"I will cast away, throw away, and confess this stone of hate towards myself into the fiery pit. I will give thanks for it's adversity in my life and that I no longer have to bear its burden.

For You, Father God, are an artist who has procured me from nothing and breathed life into me. You caused me to be so set apart with the love of Jesus inside me, SHINING EVER SO BRIGHT, that those around me are convicted to follow You and respect Your beautiful creation.

When You made me, it wasn't in a factory where everything looks and operates the same, but you distinguished me so much so with a light that SHINES different than any other.

You called me different and set me apart, like my favorite Oreo with the most sparkling pop rock candy, You set me aside as a special one. 'This one has more sparkle', You said.

I am Your product and property Father God. I am not the worlds. And I am not my own. I am only Yours. Therefore, I must live my life on this planet with that in the forefront of my mind.

I must remember that You made me just the way I am. With a purpose and a plan. You breathed life into me. I need to stand on this truth with an assurance that cannot be shaken no matter what this world may tell me.

And I need to declare that truth everyday, so that the enemy has no more room for lies. I need to declare those things daily, unashamedily, confidently.

Because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.